common whitegirl struggles

TW!:Sexual assult, rape, abuse, self harm, suicide

I'm writing these for my friends who want to know more about me or the way I act sometimes. Because I cannot get myself to open up to ppl I decided to write on this page where if someone cares enough they'll check. I also wanted to get these outta my chest yk

I have major depression, panic attacks, some kinda sleeping and spelling/stuttering issues, autism, ADHD, anxiety and hypochondriasis

sometimes i feel so shit that i get a headache, for that i go sleep

if i can't sleep, i'll get a piercing for sweet sweet endorphine

generally suicidal btw i openly joke about this, i also wonder why would anyone want me alive even i don't want myself to be alive

the reason i am so hyperaware of my age is i never expected to live this long

i got verbally abused by my girlfriend, she used to be my best friend and i hate that i miss her

i used to cut myself, the scars hurt from time to time. i've been tempted to go back to that recently

i was assulted by my cousin, i was 7 and just wanted him to not feel bad. nothing really happened when i told my family about this

i keep having nightmares where i get raped, they seem to get worse each time